We all feel regret. Regret for the dreams we had and never got around to achieving. Regret for the decisions we should have, or should not have made, at those pivotal points in our lives.
Those crucial moments in life where you know something needs to be done and you dither, because the path you are on is uncomfortable, but comforting. So you stay the course of not changing because it is easier.
That is not the ‘lost time’ I am talking about.
The ‘time’ I am talking about is when ‘life’ smacks you so hard that you are brought crashing to your knees. When your superficial daily routine is disrupted by a devastating tragedy, that wipes the earth clean of someone you love.
The mantle of sorrow presses down on your chest making a simple act like breathing almost impossible. You ache for sleep but it never brings relief.
Those precious milliseconds just before you awake, before you remember, remind you of a time that is gone. And then the demolition ball of despair falls again.
Grief is a time killer. It may be years before you feel ‘normal’. When you can get out of bed and not have to remind yourself to breathe. When the daily routine is re-established with just the body’s will to survive.
It is during that time of grief that we change. Everything you thought was important before is now superficial and meaningless. When you realise your own mortality because of the devastating loss you experienced.
That ‘lost time’ from when you were shattered on the rocks, to when you start to look outside of your pain at the world around you, is where you are reborn.
You emerge stronger and more determined to live a life that means something. Status, popularity and money pale into shallow insignificance. Sweeping out all the toxic relationships and self-destructive behaviours, leaves you breathing easier.
Your dreams and goals change and your work ethic becomes more focused.
What you do with your time becomes of paramount importance. Each minute is crucial. Because it may be your last.
“Lost time” creates a deep appreciation of this chaotic, raw experience called life.