It takes us a lifetime to get over ourselves. All my life I have been the ’emotional’ one. The person that wears their heart on their sleeve. The first one to extend the olive branch. The first one to say ‘I love you’.
I am often dismissed and my words not taken seriously. That really used to bug the living daylights out of me. What is so wrong with telling people how you feel? Some people go through life never knowing that somebody loves them. Some people never experience the power of a hug.
I may be all ‘mushy’ but that does not make me stupid. I think it takes courage to tell people how you feel, no matter what the consequences are.So what if they think you are stupid? So what if they mock you behind their backs? So what if they disregard or ignore you because they ‘know’ that you will always be there for them.
That does not mean that I don’t get hurt. When someone you care for ignores you or pays attention when it suits them, it hurts like a razor slicing slivers off your heart. When other people are praised for exactly the same things you do and your efforts are not even mentioned, it freezes my heart. When hurtful comments passed in jest like ‘Oh I will just find another gullible fool’ leave you gasping for breath as the pain sears through you.
‘Oh …’ is the only response I could muster to that comment.
That one crippled me for days. I have spent a lot of time thinking about it and realised that I cannot, and will not, change who I am.
So going forward I will stay true to myself.
- I will tell people that I love them and that they are important in my life.
- I will encourage and motivate people to reach their full potential.
- I will compliment them on their skills and their abilities to overcome the challenges they face.
- I will be there for them in any situation, regardless of how much pain they have caused me in the past.
- I will continue to be the unique and loving person that I am.
And if you don’t like it, or it makes you uncomfortable in any way, then please feel free to go away, because frankly my dear I don’t give a flying fuck what anyone thinks of me anymore.
