We have all heard the expression “It is more blessed to give than receive”.
The reasoning behind this is the person doing the giving receives something of far greater value back. It could be a feeling of being needed and wanted that so many of us desire. It could be a spiritual blessing in that they have given freely of themselves in some way and have made a difference in someone else’s life that will make that person’s life better. It could be that they have been on the receiving end so often in their lives that it has sometimes crushed them and they rebuild their self-esteem and self-worth when they can do the same for others.
As someone who has been on the receiving end so many times that I have lost count, the last one is particularly applicable to me. However it appears that whatever lesson I have yet to learn out of these tough times has not been learnt yet.
My car broke down again last week and this morning I needed to get milk for the children. Now I have a neighbour that would have taken me to the shops without hesitation, if I had asked him. But I did not.
As I was walking to the shops I asked myself why I did not ask him. I realised that to ask someone to help you means that you show vulnerability and weakness. It takes great courage to admit that you need help. It also takes massive trust.
When you finally ask someone for help, what you don’t realise is that you are honouring them in a very profound way. By allowing yourself to expose your vulnerability and weakness to someone, you have given them the greatest gift of all.
You know that there will no judgement, disdain, gloating sanctimonious patronising or lecturing and even worse than all of that – discussing your situation with other people. There are no hidden agendas or appeasing of their own guilt which is sometimes the case. There will just be an outpouring of love in the spiritual sense and a genuine desire to help you.
I am now so truly grateful for the tough times I have gone through (and they have been absolute hell) because I now know a few people that I can trust completely with my deepest darkest moments and more importantly my darkest and weakest thoughts.
For someone to know me so well – that is an honour for them, because they are trusted.
So for all of you who are in trouble or afraid to ask for help just remember this – by asking someone for help you are honouring them. So there is no need to feel ashamed or humiliated by your desperate need. It is an opportunity for you to giving them the greatest gift of all –
TRUST.
